Hermie

A fic where Zayn, the super high-priced rentboy, accidentally picks up backalley whore Harry, am I right? 

Zayn’s Friday regular always pays for the whole night, then cuts out shortly after midnight with a phone pressed to her ear and a hundred pound note pressed into Zayn’s mouth. She pays for the entire weekend at the hotel and lets Zayn stay as long as he wants, charging up the room service and rolling around on the slick sheets, long limbs taking up as much room as he likes.

He’s always grateful for the break, for the chance to sleep as late as he wants and bathe alone in the tub the size of a swimming pool without anyone to take into account. There are no special preferences about what he should or shouldn’t shave, what sort of soap he ought to use, whether he ought to be stretched and slick or tight and impossible. It’s good. But tonight he’s restless; summer is slipping away and the evenings are shading into autumn and Zayn is restless. He dresses in his slacks and waistcoat, phones his handler, then slips the keycard into his pocket and goes for a walk.

The city is quiet, winding down for the night. Zayn ambles along with his hands in his pockets, not looking at anything in particular, just enjoying the warmth that lingers on his skin, the way the smell of sex and perfume are still lingering on his hands. His guard is down for once, and that’s why he’s so surprised when the boy slides up to him, hair a riot around his pretty face, and slips one hand into the waistband of Zayn’s slacks.

“Twenty quid for a handjob,” he says, tilting his chin up. “Come on, pretty boy.” 

omelaas:

nachttour:

newvagabond:

maxistentialist:

Tweenbots by Kacie Kinzer:

Given their extreme vulnerability, the vastness of city space, the dangers posed by traffic, suspicion of terrorism, and the possibility that no one would be interested in helping a lost little robot, I initially conceived the Tweenbots as disposable creatures which were more likely to struggle and die in the city than to reach their destination. Because I built them with minimal technology, I had no way of tracking the Tweenbot’s progress, and so I set out on the first test with a video camera hidden in my purse. I placed the Tweenbot down on the sidewalk, and walked far enough away that I would not be observed as the Tweenbot––a smiling 10-inch tall cardboard missionary––bumped along towards his inevitable fate.

The results were unexpected. Over the course of the following months, throughout numerous missions, the Tweenbots were successful in rolling from their start point to their far-away destination assisted only by strangers. Every time the robot got caught under a park bench, ground futilely against a curb, or became trapped in a pothole, some passerby would always rescue it and send it toward its goal. Never once was a Tweenbot lost or damaged. Often, people would ignore the instructions to aim the Tweenbot in the “right” direction, if that direction meant sending the robot into a perilous situation. One man turned the robot back in the direction from which it had just come, saying out loud to the Tweenbot, “You can’t go that way, it’s toward the road.”

The Tweenbot’s unexpected presence in the city created an unfolding narrative that spoke not simply to the vastness of city space and to the journey of a human-assisted robot, but also to the power of a simple technological object to create a complex network powered by human intelligence and asynchronous interactions. But of more interest to me, was the fact that this ad-hoc crowdsourcing was driven primarily by human empathy for an anthropomorphized object. The journey the Tweenbots take each time they are released in the city becomes a story of people’s willingness to engage with a creature that mirrors human characteristics of vulnerability, of being lost, and of having intention without the means of achieving its goal alone. As each encounter with a helpful pedestrian takes the robot one step closer to attaining it’s destination, the significance of our random discoveries and individual actions accumulates into a story about a vast space made small by an even smaller robot.

AwwWWWWWWAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

*weeps all over the place* I have robot feelings, okay? 

Always reblog bot feels.

(via waldorph)

I was recently diagnosed with a stupid disease called Eosinophilic Esophagitis, which severely limits my diet as I am apparently allergic to everything. I’ve been bitching about it endlessly on twitter, so for those wonderful people who are putting up with me there, and for anyone else who loves a good potato soup, here, have a recipe of maximum noms for minimum effort.

Two “cheese” Gluten-free, Vegan potato soup.

1 ½ cup of diced potatoes, any kind. I used red potatoes because that’s what was on sale this week.

2 cups Imagine No-Chicken Vegetable broth. I imagine chicken broth would work fine here, as would a homemade veggie broth.

1 carrot, shredded

1/2 onion, diced

Any other kind of veggies you like, diced or cubed or generally made into small pieces that will cook with some sense of haste

1 tsp dried parsley (fresh is also fine, but alas.)

1 tsp dried basil (fresh, also fine.)

1 tsp garlic powder (again, freshness is a-okay.) 

You like other kinds of herbs? Awesome. Go nuts. This is hard to fuck up.

¼ cup flour. I used King Arthur gluten-free flour, but maybe you’re not sensitive to gluten and you like to live on the wild side, I don’t know. I don’t judge! Any kind of flour is great! You’re awesome!  Your ass looks so good in those jeans!

¾ cup milk. I used plain coconut milk, but if you’re not sensitive to lactose, use whatever you have on hand.

½ cup Daiya cheddar style shreds

½ cup Daiya Mozzarella style shreds (Neither of these “cheeses” are actual cheese, but melt and cook like real cheese, so if you’re not sensitive to lactose, you can use one cup-ish of any sort of shredded cheese you like.)

2 tbsp Soy-Free Earth Balance (Once again, regular butter is fine for those not on restrictive diets.)

OKAY. Now that you’ve assembled half your kitchen, let’s get to work. Shred the carrot, dice the potatoes, get your assorted veggies into small pieces, however you choose to go about that. Melt 1 tbsp of Earth Balance in a large pot or saucepan. This is where your soup will all end up, so make sure it’s large enough to hold the whole caboodle. Toss in your carrots and veggies (NOT YOUR POTATOES) and herbs. Sautee those motherfuckers until everything is tender and your kitchen is starting to smell so good. Now add in your broth and potatoes. Give that a big ol’ stir, cover your pot, and cook that shit on medium-low heat until your potatoes are fork tender, probably about 10 minutes.

In another, smaller pot, melt a tablespoon of Earth Balance on medium heat. Then stir in the flour and let that cook for a minute or two, until it gets a little golden. Add your milk and your cheese and cook that, stirring quite frequently, until it’s all gooey and melted and looks like something’d you put on nachos.

When the potatoes are tender, dump the delicious cheesy mixture into the delicious potato mixture and give that shit a good stir, get it all mixed up in there. Now quick, while it’s still warm, serve it up with a nice slice of crusty bread that you slathered in some more Earth Balance while you were waiting so patiently. Your kitchen smells like heaven and the soup tastes even better.

Smile beautifully and say, My good friend Jennifer taught me to make this. 

leupagus:

orangemuses:

dekutree:

follow your dreams

oh my GOD

This dog is living life right.

(Source: ngc4314)